Humour
#3 They don’t write ‘sup’ as their first message
How do you even find love? Is it on Tinder? Or Bumble? Or a whole other app? We all know that the only way to meet people is online. No one meets outside anymore. And not because of lockdown. But because we’ve finally learned that a lack of personality can be remedied by the use of the right set of emojis.
I’ve tried all the dating apps out there. And I think I finally found The One. It’s called Love Island the Game and it’s changed my life forever.
I figured out what the problem was. Dating is hard because…
From the perspective of a total couch potato
Now that we’re in the middle of yet another lockdown, I have been feeling particularly motivated. I will start exercising again, I decide. And I decide this every single day.
See, when I say ‘particularly motivated’, what I really mean is that I mostly daydream about how fit and sexy I’ll be once I become super shredded.
The reality is different though. Working out is hard. I always decide that I will start exercising only to remember how much I actually hate it. At this point, the process of starting and quitting has become a thing. …
Humour
You’re just two steps away from Stephen Hawking
Not to brag or anything, but I have been told all my life that I’m super intelligent. That I’m a smart cookie. That my IQ is through the roof.
Fine, okay. I’ll admit it. It’s mainly people who don’t know me that tell me this. Strangers going by their first impression. But that’s really all that matters, isn’t it? In today’s capitalist society, it’s not about the quality of the product (aka me). It’s all about the marketing. The advertising. The looks.
Who cares what your friends and family think? We all want to be adored by the masses.
And…
Humour
#2: Binge all of Married at First Sight Australia
I have been in education for 18 years now. Eighteen years. My academic career is so old it can get piss drunk and accidentally marry a stranger on a night out.
You’d think that after so long I would have everything figured out. What to do, what not to do, how to stay on top of my work and achieve all the best grades available. Yet, as I’m getting closer to the end of my degree, I find myself doing things I shouldn’t be.
Unhelpful things. Distracting things. Stupid things.
And as with anything that’s ever gone wrong in my…
Humour
Confessions of a kosmemophobic
My phone has this thing where it recommends news articles I might be interested in. It’s based on some algorithm overseeing my internet history, which is scary. Especially considering most of these recommended articles are either about murder or Rupaul’s Drag Race.
But yesterday, I was shown a different article. One about Taylor Momsen — someone I haven’t thought about since 2012. The title? The Pretty Reckless Taylor Momsen: “This year has taught me to appreciate the small things in life”
Well, lucky for you, Taylor. I envy you your privilege. Some of us don’t have it as easy. Not…
Humor
One thousand percent not worth your time
I have to self-isolate. For two weeks. Again.
This was in September. I just moved back to the UK after spending the summer with my family. And so it happened that I was in a new, empty flat, looking at the blank walls, desperately clinging onto what was left of my sanity. I only brought 3 books with me and had an internet connection that allowed me to load emails, but not Netflix. How was I going to fill the next two weeks?
That’s when it hit me.
This is perfect. I have all the time I need. Now I…
Don’t drag yourself down. Lift yourself up.
I’ve always been terrible at practising self-love. I find it way too easy to get swept away in the rush of life and forget to treat myself right. It’s something I’ve been struggling with ever since I can remember.
But self-love is important, no matter how easy it is for us to put it on the backburner. How you treat yourself affects your life more than you’d think.
I only recently realized the full scope of his. How I feel about myself impacts things like what I make myself eat. How good my sleep schedule is. How high my anxiety…
Remember you’re not the villain (but you’re not the victim either)
At the beginning of 2020, I’d never thought I’d be writing this — but here we are. This year has been unforgettable in many ways for us all. But putting all global events aside, 2020 has brought a lot of surprises to my personal life, too — one of the most painful being that I fell out with a friend.
A friend who, for the last 10 years of my life, I considered to be my closest person. She was someone I called my best friend, someone I relied on being in my life until the day I die. …
I lost actual memories because I dreaded being queer.
When I was 14, I met this girl. I fell for her hard and fast.
My love for her was intense, far more than anything I’d ever experienced before.
But she was a girl, and so was I. So, when it came down to it, I couldn’t go through with it. I couldn’t stand by her. I wasn’t ready to be queer.
I did the only thing I could — I forgot about her. And I mean that literally. I completely erased all traces of her from my memory.
No queers in small towns
This all happened years ago. Back then, I lived in a…
You should, and here’s why and how
I have had this discussion many times with my fellow writer friends. Should you explicitly state your character’s sexuality in your writing?
The default
When I talk about a character’s sexuality, I mean it in the case that the said character is LGBTQ+. It wouldn’t make much sense to have this conversation about straight characters. That is because, unfortunately, being straight is still seen as the default. If there is no mention of a character’s sexuality in a text, it will likely be assumed that the character is straight. …
Veronika Jel
24 | UK | she/her | writer, tv enthusiast, and an aspiring time traveller
